the drift


Tuesday, November 25, 2008

WTF, Gmail Themes?

Dear Google, do you know why i picked your stupid beach theme for my gmail? because i wanted a little escape, that's why, because i wanted to keep on the sunny side as i picked through the tepid waters of gmail awash in email subscriptions i don't remember signing up for, notifications of sales on shit i still can't afford and reminders from my google calendar on work I'm hopelessly behind on.
then i see this, and it's like you've just thrown my new coat in dog poo and danced a celebratory jig on top of it.

thanks for brightening my day with this sad tale of a sand-drenched ice cream cone.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Paris Ghetto Filmfest

Saturday, November 22, 2008

So I'm starting this thing

With some other women. Trying to get control of the day to day stuff. Some of us need to lose weight, some need to save money and plan financially, some need to simply organize their homes or schedules. Some need all of the above.
I know, but it's actually pretty interesting. We even started to blog about it over here Support Channel. We're all pretty different people. Some are moms, some are non-moms, some are younger, older, etc.
But basically we just name some goals and report in on Sundays. We do a mid-week check in just in case you're one to cram for deadlines, you can still salvage some of the week. We were doing this all by email but decided it might be fun and clearer to put in blog form.
I know there are a million forums out there for this kind of thing, but I hate forums. 90% of the crap in forums I simply don't care about but it takes forever to sift through. And most of the users are totally random and lost and are asking random and lost questions.
So far so good on this whole goal-setting thing. I'm getting work done, keeping the kids on schedule and even working out a bit at night. It's the most constructive project I've gotten on board with in a long long time. So check it out.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

You make me sick!

I got an email with that subject line and it alarmed me. Then I realized it wasn't from anyone I know.

Randomly I think that I'm glad I have kids. Kids always love, even if they don't understand.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

i made flying turkeys today bitches

what did you do with your life today?

yeah. exactly.

p.s. I heart having to actually go interview people for stories I'm writing. It's $75 a story. Give me a fucking break. For $75 you get me trying to call your ass and get you on the phone and stressing because you're shirking your duties and won't call me back until the day before my deadline at which time you inform me that you only have like a sentence from which I should write 300 to 400 words so I thus must arrange for babysitting and tag my husband along with me to some god-forsaken corner of the Power & Lite district where they don't serve appetizers but want to advertise to happy hour groups. And I go home and slap some lipstick on that pig and turn it over to my editor at which time I am thinking, this blows, but when my $375 check comes it'll all be worth it. Or will it. At least the Bombay Sapphire and tonic was on the house.

Saturday, November 08, 2008

ah confession

one of the greatest things about being Catholic. I like to hold back and save up the good stuff so I go maybe once a year. I feel sorry for those priests having to listen to boring stuff like I used the Lord's name in vain XX (X) times...
So we talked about the election and my lack of trust in the Church leaders to lead me through the gray areas of pro-life public policy. He stated that a lot of people felt the way I did and he blamed the Church scandals. I argued a bit (heh, naturally) that I was just not the kind of person to blindly trust authority. We prayed for humility for me. We prayed for me to be like a child.
Which is actually something I really do want and value. But it's also a skill. A skill that I'm painfully aware that I don't have.
We also talked about a tough conversation with a friend recently. Since I'm a douchebag and an emotional coward, this happened mostly by email. We agreed that that was a mistake. And that I shouldn't beat myself up about it because even if I failed to speak as Christ would've wanted me to, I spoke from the heart and a place of love. And sometimes I fail. But I'm called to keep trying because calling someone out on bullshit is an act of mercy. (I paraphrase here.) And not to give up on people.
Of course, not giving up is hard for me, I realized that before I even had this 'come to Jesus' talk with this girl, I'd given up on our friendship. And that's a lesson. Allow myself to be open to being surprised by someone's ability to confront emotional messiness. Jesus was all-knowing and all-seeing but he held out hope that he wouldn't be betrayed.
At any rate, we prayed again for me to be prudent and loving with the gift of Wisdom that has been bestowed on me.
Hey, those were his words, not mine, folks. :)
All in all, a vastly misunderstood sacrament, but probably my favorite. I heart being a Catholic girl.

Thursday, November 06, 2008

so i'm getting nervous

facing a weekend without my baby girl. for the first time. Jay is taking them all down to the Ozarks. If that weren't scary enough, he's going without me. But it's better that way, for reasons I won't bother to go in to.
So what does a one-time-reluctant stay at home mom do with her first 48 hours to herself since ... since ... um, when. when. i can't even say.
i have lots of freelance to do (thank you lord), even more projects around the house, and a very cloying part of me that is telling me, fuck it all and get out your paints. Draw, paint, draw some more. Go to the Nelson for one of those reverent walks you used to do alone on a Friday night. No date more interesting than Caravaggio. Go see that steampunk-inspired show they've had forever now.
I don't know. Are those things artifacts from a life gone by? Sometimes I hear myself talking about it, and I say, yes. I'm a mom now. I'm supposed to use my reading time and investigation time on shit like What number of plastic leeches into my kids' foods?, Should I be scraping poo off disposable diapers to avoid adding more methane to the air?, Is the baby formula tainted with melamine?
It's taking me awhile to assimilate both halves of this personality. It takes me awhile after the baby is born to start feeling like i'm not breathing for two 24/7. While I can feel the mother/cub thing sort of loosening up a bit, I'm still sniffing in the air for hints of danger or predators. It sounds crazy, I know. But being a mom is a differnt head space for me. For instance, Jay and I were talking about M.I.A. and her preg self up onstage somewhere doing Paper Planes and shooting her imaginary guns in the air. And I felt awed by her, and dually scared for her and also bewildered. You become a force of life-giving when you are a mother, and for someone who has always teetered on the edge of morbity and fascination, it's a 180. And I just wondered if she felt confused up there. Confused like I did. Or do.

this goes on the list

of hopes for my children -- and, for that matter, myself.

"Prove yourselves innocent and straightforward, children of God beyond
reproach in the midst of a twisted and depraved generation — among whom
you shine like the stars in the sky while holding fast to the word of
life." —Philippians 2:15-16

Just happened to see it this morning and it hit a chord.

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Wolf Blitzer's Situation Room OF THE FUTURE ...

For the record, Wolf, the CGI model of the Capitol in front of Campbell Brown is ridiculous. It makes me wish I were a CGI Godzilla.

Furthermore, unless you are communicating with a time-traveling pundit who is talking with us from two days from now, the life-size hologram is unnecessary. And it only accentuates your, ah, diminutive stature. You know I love you, Wolf, but that's cheap eye-candy and makes me think you think the viewership could be mesmerized by shining things. I mean, literally, the hologram chick is shiny.

It's like when I found out the new Star Wars prequel had CGI characters in it.


I felt like Yakov Smirnoff

A fullness in my heart came over me as I approached the New Missionary Seventh Day Adventist Church and I saw hearty folk waiting in a 2-hr line at 7:10 in the morning. In the Dotte. In the morning. A line stretched out on to 25th St. People brought their kids in strollers. As I walked up to the tail of the line, I couldn't help but raise my arms and proclaim, "Now THAT'S what I'm talking about AMERICA."
The requisite amount of 'she's out her damn mind' looks and chuckles ensued and I basked in the glory of democracy in action as I watched the some come out of the side door of the church with a proud look, a glow of a deflowered novice voter. And I felt more patriotic than I have in more than 8 years.
What a country.

Monday, November 03, 2008

some call it unnatural ...

I call it Safari Fever. I blame that vulgar squash behind them.
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Just in response to Bishop Finn and every other one issue Catholic voter

I just don't buy it, guys. I don't buy it. And on the eve of casting a vote that could damn me to hell -- in the opinion of Bishop Finn of the Archdiocese of KC -- I sent this email to him. I doubt it will reach him, but I just wanted to tell him what probably few if any of his sheep have had the honesty to.

"I'm sorry but I have a hard time understanding why as Bishop Finn states, my eternal salvation is in jeopardy if I vote for Obama. Am I wrong but aren't there innocent children -- who just happen to have the unfortunate luck of being born already and in Iraq and Afghanistan -- who are being killed by our government? By our fellow citizens? How is voting for McCain who states that he is going to continue to kill these children any less of an offense against my salvation? I mean, really? You don't think there's a GIANT gray area there? You don't think God understands why I can't vote for someone who is a war mongerer? Because Obama will simply continue to let women choose to kill their babies or not? It's a terrible thing, I hate abortion but I also think that God gave us free will. And those women have to answer for that choice. What about our soldiers? Killing people for no reason at all? Other than it's their job? I'm just so confused and I don't think Bishop Finn's statement is correct. I just don't see God as that myopic. I think he loves babies that are here already just as much. Oh, and also he cares about lives of death row convicts, another group that McCain turns a blind eye to when it comes to being 'Pro-Life'. I mean, come on Bishop. Aren't we all a little bit cafeteria Catholics in this election? It's EASY to pick the babies. It's harder to stick up for the foreign children a world away, or the guilty convicts on death row. I thought Jesus lead us to make the TOUGH choices, not the easy ones.
If this even made it to you, I thank you for listening. I hope God has mercy on my soul -- and yours-- since we are BOTH making some pretty big concessions this election."