the drift


Saturday, November 08, 2008

ah confession

one of the greatest things about being Catholic. I like to hold back and save up the good stuff so I go maybe once a year. I feel sorry for those priests having to listen to boring stuff like I used the Lord's name in vain XX (X) times...
So we talked about the election and my lack of trust in the Church leaders to lead me through the gray areas of pro-life public policy. He stated that a lot of people felt the way I did and he blamed the Church scandals. I argued a bit (heh, naturally) that I was just not the kind of person to blindly trust authority. We prayed for humility for me. We prayed for me to be like a child.
Which is actually something I really do want and value. But it's also a skill. A skill that I'm painfully aware that I don't have.
We also talked about a tough conversation with a friend recently. Since I'm a douchebag and an emotional coward, this happened mostly by email. We agreed that that was a mistake. And that I shouldn't beat myself up about it because even if I failed to speak as Christ would've wanted me to, I spoke from the heart and a place of love. And sometimes I fail. But I'm called to keep trying because calling someone out on bullshit is an act of mercy. (I paraphrase here.) And not to give up on people.
Of course, not giving up is hard for me, I realized that before I even had this 'come to Jesus' talk with this girl, I'd given up on our friendship. And that's a lesson. Allow myself to be open to being surprised by someone's ability to confront emotional messiness. Jesus was all-knowing and all-seeing but he held out hope that he wouldn't be betrayed.
At any rate, we prayed again for me to be prudent and loving with the gift of Wisdom that has been bestowed on me.
Hey, those were his words, not mine, folks. :)
All in all, a vastly misunderstood sacrament, but probably my favorite. I heart being a Catholic girl.


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