WTF, Gmail Themes?

Dear Google, do you know why i picked your stupid beach theme for my gmail? because i wanted a little escape, that's why, because i wanted to keep on the sunny side as i picked through the tepid waters of gmail awash in email subscriptions i don't remember signing up for, notifications of sales on shit i still can't afford and reminders from my google calendar on work I'm hopelessly behind on.
then i see this, and it's like you've just thrown my new coat in dog poo and danced a celebratory jig on top of it.

thanks for brightening my day with this sad tale of a sand-drenched ice cream cone.