back in the freelance groove

well, sort of. i finally received a couple of assignments after a long dry spell. trying to find time to call the interviewees has already proven a challenge with a sleeping baby or a gassy baby or a baby with dirty drawers needing my attention. Nonetheless, I deem it to be good. It feels good, making a little money.
By the way, should you or yours need marketing copy, proposals, special interest or long form magazine articles, whatevs -- I'm your girl. Not in the Flavor of Love sense, but in the His Girl Friday sense.
Also, if any of you have attended one of these local mommy groups, can you let me know? What's it like? Is it weird? Are there alpha-moms with a my-suv-is-bigger-than-yours complex? I've found some groups for 'cool' moms but I'm not sure I care about being cool as much as they do. I'm not sure I have the priorities in the same spot -- you know, like, I'll let my 2 year old leave the house wearing his Thomas the Tank Engine light up tennies (his fav). Or I don't think I should compel him to watch CHIPS with me so I can share with people how ironic his taste in 70s television is. (yes, that is a real-life example). I was interested in the JoCoMochaMoms group, but it would be pretty awkward to show up with my blonde children and my obviously unmocha ethnic heritage. Still, they seem to have the best gatherings based on the photos from all the mom group web sites I checked out.
I'm looking for some support networks once I'm home, and I'm kinda at a loss here. It feels weird, showing up with your kids, asking someone to be your friend. or, even weirder, asking someone to be your kid's friend.

don't get me wrong

she's mine and she's beautiful and perfect, but you know how newborns look a little different every day?

Well, she seems to me to be going through a slight episode of Spitzer. ?

saturday mornings in preutopia II

we're on the road to potty training. he's awfully confident for someone walking around sans pants, don't you think?

Saturday mornings in preutopia

um, reality check

so 2wks post partum and i'm still bleeding and feeling a dull ache in my abdomen and my right knee is progressively swelling behind the kneecap. to the point i can't move it last night. to the point that i could barely walk on it and if i bend it, it feels like my knee cap is going to come shooting off. with doomsdayer visions of a DVT forming behind my knee, i can't resist googling the symptoms. the doc on call says it's rare, but my body is in high-gear for clotting right now so o have it checked out at the e.r. i feed the baby right before i leave --thinking morbid thoughts the whole time. everyone is pleasant and unrushed as i quietly freak out over my mom's daD who very unexpectedly died at 42 of a clot passing to his lungs. in other words, i'm panicking over nothing but my ability to go from zero to worst case scenario in under 3 seconds. they ultrasound the entire leg, i'm fine...i'm fine. they run my labs and find a small infection taking hold. so what's with the swelling? who knows, infection, post-baby edema weirdness, an old injury? regardless, sarah, you're 10 days post-partum. go home, rest, let your husband take care of things. from the first day home -- carrying a toddler up and down stairs, housecleaning, laundry up and down two flights of stairs, moving and organizing the baby gear to the garage, grocery shopping at 10 pm. what the hell??
2.5 hrs later i'm driving myself home to my sleeping babies and worried husband. realizing that i don't want to sacrifice my health to my type-A controlling b.s. like my mom has. if it means dirty litterboxes, unmatched outfits, half-assed dishwashing and my son wearing dirty socks for a few weeks, so be it. it's just going to have to be that way. i've got to heal first. i've got to give myself permission to.

in my next house i will totally have a Purple Rain room

because this girl is a dream

and the queen of peaceful sleep amid 19 month old brother chaos, I'm going to post something non-Bebe related. Pom's great post from the other day with a bunch of delightfully random questions will be my catalyst today -- and i'm definitely needing one after a restless night of aching stitches and a gassy newborn.

Laundry folding:
Always take to the bedroom to watch tv and be in close proximity to the folded clothing articles' final destination

what am i eating:
something wonderful each day this week (perk of post-partum homeboundness i guess): souperman, bo lings, lots of guacamole from pretty much anywhere that doesn't serve it baby-poo style.

hospital bag for baby birthing:
cameras, laptop, boppy, baby nail clippers (they won't do it there for some reason -- probably some overly-litigious new parent), comfy socks(!), comfy robe. oh yeah, and don't forget the car seat.

baby birthing music:
download a podcast of hearts of space. not something i'd listen to for fun typically, but this helped me greatly during contractions with Roman. we had another show on cd in the bag for this birth, but there wasn't time. however, while laboring at home, i turned on the visualizations in Windows media player and concentrated on those while listening to the soundtrack to Lost in Translation. just as effective.

what motivates me to clean/organize:
usually ill-channeled and/or irrational anger. also a general feeling of needing control over something. consequently, i clean/organize in a very bi-polar manner. my hubby just steps out of the way, which is wise i think.

makes me feel better when i have a raging cold:
1. take bath 2. make tea (ginger) 3. Fresh sheets on bed 4. Good book. 5. Fall asleep a few pages in.

time off for baby:
well this time around was a lot more laid back. i knew i wasn't coming back to the job, so it's been liberating. however, last time, i was brand-new to my job (only there for 2 months) and i was freaked out about losing my job. to make it worse, i only had 2 weeks paid leave and medical leave requirements dictate 6 weeks off mandatory for a vaginal birth. so we were broke for several weeks then, when i went back we had the additional burden of having to pay for daycare after having been out of 50% of our income for a month. Very rough. However, the job was cool. When I came back, everyone seemed pleasantly surprised and took it very easy on me. Very understanding about needing to readjust to the schedule and stuff. the worst part was really the financial strain of daycare costs (which even though it was slightly cheaper than regular daycare because we took him to my mother in law, it still was not affordable after time off without pay). The insurance ended up not being a big deal as they simply prorated my missed premiums over the remainder of the year. My advice: save up if you know you're not going to have the income you'll need once baby is here. Other advice: Work cannot trump your health. Most managers are human and understand this. And if yours doesn't, that's a clue that you're in the wrong spot. Because, once the baby is here, they're going to need to be able to work with you anyway. Babies get sick, babies have lots of doc appointments, etc. They need to be flexible with new moms unless they'd rather train someone else to do the job they've already trained you to do well. (a known entity is always better than an unknown -- this is working in your favor.)

photos and not a lot to say yet other than thank god

her birth seems to have been relatively easy for her. also, my greatest fear -- not being able to get an epidural -- came and went and was no big deal after all. in fact, the worst part was simply having the news broken to me. and believe me girls, if i'm saying that, it really isn't as scary as it sounds.

Already with the vicious bling courtesy of Aunt Summie:

big brother is enchanted by her:

Beautiful AND punctual

And she's out!
Beatrix Ninja Maxine
7lbs 13 oz
No epidural folks! (not on purpose)

orangina -- space juice for the french

so this morning in a middle world somewhere between sleep and labor pains, i had a dream of two girls, early-20s or so, each named 'Orangey'. I was quite smitten with them and their striking resemblance to my mom's senior yearbook photo and my grandma during her carousing days of the early 1940s. Orangey Girl, the first, with her serious air and dark clothing talked loftily from a coffeehouse chair at me and generally impressed me with her conversational acumen and worldliness. Orangey Cake, the second girl, led Roman (strangely still a toddler in my arms) around the grounds of a small college and bounded about with excitement at starting school there soon. Her hair was naturally dark but had been dyed that awful mid-90s purpley red color and she wore a tangerine-colored shirt to magnify the garishness. She also generally impressed me, but with her free-spiritedness and gusto.
I woke up with a pain shortly thereafter. Breathed through it and decided that today is the day I will have my daughter. And, apparently, I am obliged to name her Orangey.
Of course, it's now getting late in the day, labor pains have ceased... She didn't keep her end of the deal up so i guess that means I get a free pass on naming her Orangey.
Just in case though, I did a reverse look-up with name descriptions containing 'orange':
Alani, Lantana, Saffron, Nerola, Orangetta, and, of course, apparently taken from the literalist book of Paltrow: Orange. :)

get OUT of my belly

Yes, you.

no bloody show, Bebe. What's the deal? on the plus side, frustration leads to unprecedented productivity:

before

almost there

but not quite (see shower hole in plaster and randome clutter)

false alarm, i guess

contractions have stopped. back afloat in the sea of maternity uncertainty. and double stuf oreos.

also, that had to be some kind of world record mucous plug. i should've totally kept it for posterity.