since when have i male-bashed

i take exception with claim. i am no male-basher.

maybe a basher of the ubermachismoschmoe.

but i think even that's stretching it a bit.

really, i'm hardly a ball buster. my huzby's are firmly his own domain; i lay no claim to them through force or coersion. i really think it's all in my style. someone else could totally get away with saying the stuff that i've said, but because i'm well-spoken and manage to come off as fairly intelligent (usually), i get flack for it.

i'm not and have never been one of those women who praise a man for simply being a man, defer to him superficially only to circumvent him and clandestinely grab all the power and/or make all the decisions in a relationship.

those are the real man-haters guys. i know it's hard to believe, when they can hardly articulate what they feel like for dinner, much less, in your head, be a mastermind of the demise of your freewill.

so why the bad rap i get? i've never understood it. i don't say anyone is a feminist-basher -- but given some of the responses i've received over the years, maybe it's fitting.

this isn't aimed at you at all, but dodo, your post did get me thinking of the countless times i've been accused of such things. much to my chagrin.

And chagrin is an awesome word, don't you think?

baby muses

for the first time in at least a week, i slept well last night. So well, in fact, huzby claimed i pushed him out of bed. While I somehow doubt this claim -- it sounds so unlike me -- if I truly did it, I feel no remorse. I take it for payback on all the nights he stole the covers in the dead of winter and I was too in love to steal them back -- him resembling a Hot Pocket of en utero comfort revisited. so now, if i splay across the bed after giving baby awesome a hearty midnight feeding, i feel it a just reward.
what a cut-throat motherhood and wifery has made of me.
the babe sleeps upstairs as I write this.
ah, the favors done me by the twilight dust muses.
(and when i say muses, i mean the pillows and the ceiling fan that BA often babbles to upon waking or being put to bed. enjoying his own mystical communications with inanimate objects for 15 to 30 mins at a time.)

i do apologize for writing almost exclusively about him and family life -- but for now that is the sum of my new experiences and my own fascination. i hope not to bore you too much.

yep i'm thankful

Baby Awesome has an ear infection. We could discuss my myriad hypotheses as to why this unfortunate turn occurred, but suffice to say, I detest the flu shot and solely blame it for ruining my Thanksgiving holiday for the past 3 years.

Last night's sleep was elusive and a general feeling of dread creep behind my back with every turn in bed. Just a general sense of being watched or preyed upon in my bed. Do you ever get that feeling? Some impending doom crouching in the corner of the room? (No, shan, my house is not haunted, just my mind.)

On Thanksgiving -- I've got much to be thankful for these days. Namely, Baby Awesome, of course. Also namely, my new job wherein I am mostly anonymous. Such perfect timing to be converted to a corporate drone. Churn out the product, navigate the red tape, go home. The most unlikeliest of gifts, but I do sing its praises.

However, the one downside is my near total uselessness to the greater good of humanity for 9 hours every day. This is a rather depressing thought, and one that I'm unwilling to dwell too much upon. What I will say is, whereas I felt I was in tune with God's plan for me during my work hours at my old job, for the most part, my off hours felt rather lost. Now I've come to see that feeling flip-flop. Such is the nature of my life, and always has been: just as I master one aspect of it, some other aspect goes neglected or grows out of control, etc. the difference is, this time, i'm quite content with it.

in fact, content is a word i never thought would apply to me, but here it is. has the fire of my discontent been put out? do i care? nah. i don't. there are better motivations in life, and i think i've found one -- the kind of motivation that gives light and energy, not the blackhole of sublimation.

Baby Awesome has a myspace. check him out www.myspace.com/r_awesome . he's got more friends than i do. something i can only hope will continue.

he's fine

just fine. healing up nicely.

Hey, my dad goes to the hospital for a "procedure" tomorrow.

do you think i should go?
well.
i'm going.

he scares me all the time. you'd think that would matter to him.
but.
it doesn't.

so that's that.



p.s. if you don't like soup, you can eat my box.
p.p.s. if you are Joey Lawrence, you can also eat my box.

Soup: Foodstuffs of the Gods

My (no longer secret) dream of starting a soup-only establishment must be realized. Kansas City, what you need most is a deliciously hopeful bowl of Entrepreneurial Soup.

A hearty soup can be a meal. A light soup, the perfect appetite-suppressant for the aspiring anorexic. A cold soup can challenge the hoity-toitiest of pseudo-sophisticates to ask our servers "Is this soup supposed to be cold?"

Soup, you universally appealing dish, you revive the heartiness of spirit required to endure a Midwestern winter. You boost my weary immune system when I have smoked and drank my worries away.

Detractors of soup, I warn thee; one taste of my Cheesy Potato Stew and you will cry out for more. At which point, you will be warmly wrapped in the cozy arms of the soup aficionado community.

Investors: I am currently entertaining offers for partnerships. I cannot however, be dissuaded re: the name "Sis' Soup Kitchen".

City Planners: Are you listening? Under my cruel tutelage, Kansas City will become synonymous with delicious soup. Kansas City--America's Souper City!

fruits of my labor

i'm trying, kid.
really, I'm trying.


we'll make it, my little luftmensch.

i suppose this is as a good a place as any to explore my thoughts on motherhood?

Children are a gift from God. but so is Freewill.

most women will experience the tug of war between these two statements at some point in their lives -- and in various scenarios. those who choose to become mothers will feel it daily.

i always said that i wanted my son to know a mother who is empowered and fully engaged in life. but it's a tightrope walk. falling on the side of abandonment or on the side of being too good a mother. if there is such a thing. i suppose maybe there isn't.

he is my greatest love. but if i sacrifice my identity to that, as with any love, i will lose his respect, and i will lose my spirit, my momentum, my ability to teach him and learn from him. nothing before has prepared me for the guilt, the powerlessness, the fear that accompanies the joy, the wonder, and the eternal hopefulness of motherhood.

it's a complicated thing. love of any sort.

Post-Election Hangover -or- IM'ing Isn't Just for Senators and Interns Anymore

Seanain [8:45 AM]:
Yay! No soccer fields!
Sarah [8:45 AM]:
thank god - for once in the their pampered lives joco kids are not going to get something they asked for
Sarah [8:45 AM]:
cry children! cry!
Seanain [8:46 AM]:
It's funny how people think Joco is so wealthy.
Sarah [8:46 AM]:
i know it's not -- but those pushing for the soccer fields are
Seanain [9:05 AM]:
Did my latest blog make you ill?
Sarah [9:05 AM]:
(sweet an engineer on one of my teams is named King Kwan)
Seanain [9:06 AM]:
That's gotta be a pseudo
Sarah [9:07 AM]:
aha - the demasculinization of men infiltrated your subconscious
Seanain [9:07 AM]:
It's going to be a recurring theme.
Sarah [9:07 AM]:
is feminism celebrated? (per your blog)
Seanain [9:08 AM]:
OMG, yes!
Seanain [9:08 AM]:
Are you being serious?!
Sarah [9:08 AM]:
do some research
Seanain [9:09 AM]:
omg, you ARE serious.
Sarah [9:09 AM]:
you're talking to a girl who was this close to being a Women's Studies major.
Sarah [9:10 AM]:
but i couldn't take their total lack of a sense of humor about the whole situation
Sarah [9:10 AM]:
one of the only truly effective tools of the oppressed: humor
Sarah [9:11 AM]:
there was a really great Time article about 5 years ago called the End of Feminism.
Seanain [9:11 AM]:
There, you just epitomized the femme movement, and it’s so mainstream you didn’t even notice. It’s so embedded in our daily lives you accept it as a norm.
Sarah [9:11 AM]:
Fewer women identify themselves as feminists now than in the 1980.
Seanain [9:11 AM]:
Thank god
Seanain [9:12 AM]:
And I'm not talking about feminism as a movement, but as an identity. As a social class.
Sarah [9:12 AM]:
well that was over in 1990
Sarah [9:12 AM]:
when the 3rd Wave really hit
Seanain [9:13 AM]:
It's hardly over. It's just become a social norm.
Seanain [9:13 AM]:
Luna bars. Womens Studies. Curves for Women ...
Sarah [9:13 AM]:
I'm not sure what 'it' you're really talking about tho
Sarah [9:13 AM]:
oh - feminism as a saleable commodity
Sarah [9:13 AM]:
that's different then
Seanain [9:14 AM]:
Demasculation, metrosexuals
Seanain [9:14 AM]:
Morrison, running for Att. Gen. was villified for calling himself a "manly man". WTF?!
Seanain [9:14 AM]:
Why is that a bad thing?
Sarah [9:14 AM]:
The fact that 'feminism' equates to 'demasculinization' of men for you is telling
Seanain [9:14 AM]:
Femme makes it bad
Sarah [9:15 AM]:
why is being a 'p#ssy' bad?
Sarah [9:15 AM]:
that's what you called the dems yesterday
Sarah [9:15 AM]:
the flip side of the same coin
Seanain [9:15 AM]:
Because it voids a belief system.
Seanain [9:15 AM]:
Being a p#ssy is not taking a stand for your beliefs. YOu are only as strong as your beliefs.
Sarah [9:15 AM]:
no no. that's different than using the feminine term 'p#ssy'
Sarah [9:16 AM]:
again, look at the gender of the word choice here
Seanain [9:17 AM]:
No worries.
Sarah [9:17 AM]:
p#ssy means being able to say you made a mistake, means rethinking a position
Seanain [9:17 AM]:
No, p#ssy means breaking under outside pressure.
Sarah [9:17 AM]:
(or if you want to paint it in a negative light - being 'wishy washy')
Seanain [9:18 AM]:
Wait, what were we talking about again?
Seanain [9:18 AM]:
Oh, yeah.
Seanain [9:18 AM]:
Villification of masculinity.
Seanain [9:18 AM]:
So, I'm opposed.
Seanain [9:19 AM]:
You're for.
Seanain [9:19 AM]:
Let's share a Luna.
Sarah [9:19 AM]:
my point is even if you look at our language here, it is so highly genderized, so charged with generations of patriarchy, you can't hardly even talk about it without getting lost in the semantics
Seanain [9:19 AM]:
Yeah. Language will do that.
Sarah [9:19 AM]:
so you're telling me feminism is so ingrained into our society
Seanain [9:20 AM]:
Yeah!
Sarah [9:20 AM]:
the presence of patriarchal oppression in the meantime informs every word you have to say about it
Sarah [9:20 AM]:
(sorry, you inflamed the feminist hemmie i've had in hiding since college)
Seanain [9:20 AM]:
But that's neither here nor there, it's just that whilst this is happening, maledom (if I can coin a werd) is being villified
Sarah [9:20 AM]:
(let's share a Luna and some Tucks)
Sarah [9:21 AM]:
Why do you want to gloss over that?
Sarah [9:21 AM]:
It IS valid
Sarah [9:22 AM]:
you're blaming feminism for it
Sarah [9:24 AM]:
i mean really can a political belief system held by only a tiny fraction of women in this country be blamed for the collapse of a cultural phenomenon as hearty as 'the manly man'?
Sarah [9:24 AM]:
i think not
Sarah [9:26 AM]:
unless you define feminists as those who: raise children on their own, are integral breadwinners in their families, accept full responsiblity for the development of their children into acceptable human beings
Sarah [9:26 AM]:
if those are the feminists you're talking about, then sure, if they want to emasculate men, they could probably do it
Sarah [9:28 AM]:
but more than likely that emasculation is a)a figment of the imagination of said men b)a by-product of the cultural allowances made for men who shirk off fathering/husbanding roles.
Seanain [9:28 AM]:
hold on, gotta catch up.
Sarah [9:29 AM]:
i'm writing my response to your post right now .
Sarah [9:29 AM]:
in fact, this is today's blog entry - unless you have objections
Seanain [9:30 AM]:
Feminism is fundamentally anti-male. masculinity is fundamentally pro-female.
Seanain [9:30 AM]:
no objections.
Sarah [9:30 AM]:
are you sure you want to make that claim?
Sarah [9:30 AM]:
really, look objectively at that statement for a sec
Seanain [9:31 AM]:
It's not categorical
Sarah [9:31 AM]:
it's about as categorical as it gets
Seanain [9:31 AM]:
I'm talking about the post-fem neo-masc movement
Sarah [9:32 AM]:
ok, can you give me an example of someone who has led this post-fem neo-masc movement? who is their leader?
Sarah [9:32 AM]:
or are you just a conspiracy theorist?
Seanain [9:33 AM]:
Sarah ...
Seanain [9:33 AM]:
I am their leader.
Seanain [9:33 AM]:
I'm perfect for the job!
Seanain [9:33 AM]:
I was raised by a feminist single mother!
Seanain [9:33 AM]:
I'm hairy!
Seanain [9:33 AM]:
And I love women!
Seanain [9:34 AM]:
You're kinda fired up about all this, aren't you?
Seanain [9:35 AM]:
Sheesh, can't we have a lively convo without you getting all angry and stuff.
Sarah [9:35 AM]:
i'm totally not angry.
Sarah [9:36 AM]:
had you been talking to Sarah 2001, she would've been fired up and linguistically sliced and diced your petty arguments...
Seanain [9:36 AM]:
Look at how you typed that.
Sarah [9:37 AM]:
but Sarah 2001 has been replaced with Sarah 2006 who finally met a nice man and gave birth to one that's going to be even better
Sarah [9:37 AM]:
he's going to be more of a feminist than Ja and i combined. and the ladies are going to love him for it
Seanain [9:37 AM]:
I just like thinking that you think I'm a Chauvinist
Sarah [9:38 AM]:
he'll get all the puun he'll ever want
Sarah [9:38 AM]:
bcz his mama versed him in the ways of the uberwoman
Sarah [9:39 AM]:
he will be the ally of all women and speak truth to men whose egos will not let them hear it
Seanain [9:39 AM]:
omg. You already cut off 1/3 of his cawk, don't emasculate him any further.
Sarah [9:39 AM]:
i kept a picture of it for him.
Seanain [9:39 AM]:
Maaan... that's low.
Sarah [9:39 AM]:
he can always write it love letters but again, he won't need to for he will be ...
Sarah [9:40 AM]:
The Most Secure Man on the Planet
Seanain [9:40 AM]:
Heh.
Seanain [9:40 AM]:
You don't get secure through emasculation
Sarah [9:40 AM]:
you laugh, but the guys who were smart enough to sign up for and make good discussion in my Women's Studies classes
Sarah [9:40 AM]:
oh, they never wanted for female companionship
Seanain [9:41 AM]:
Hehehehe.
Seanain [9:41 AM]:
Gee, I wonder if that was deliberate on their part? hmmmmmm
Sarah [9:41 AM]:
of course it was
Sarah [9:42 AM]:
but they were secure enough to take that path.
Seanain [9:42 AM]:
"secure"
Sarah [9:42 AM]:
most men would've not taken
Seanain [9:42 AM]:
"not"
Sarah [9:42 AM]:
what are you doing?
Seanain [9:42 AM]:
I don't "know"
Sarah [9:43 AM]:
just ansewring everything with one word stolen from my statements?
Seanain [9:43 AM]:
"just"
Sarah [9:43 AM]:
is this some kind of manly-man mind trick they teach you in manly-man school?
Seanain [9:45 AM]:
On another note, my post is actually about the death of metrosexualism
Seanain [9:45 AM]:
And on yet another note, let's do lunch
Sarah [9:45 AM]:
no, it's not.
Sarah [9:45 AM]:
yes, i am hungry
Seanain [9:45 AM]:
what's not?
Sarah [9:45 AM]:
your post is not about that
Sarah [9:46 AM]:
it's not about the death of metrosexualism
Seanain [9:46 AM]:
Really? What's it about?
Sarah [9:47 AM]:
oh, ok. i had to read past the first sentence.

in honor of our nation's least favorite holiday

I would venture a guess that more Americans stay home on Election Day than on Christmas.

You scored as Anarchism. br> Anarchism 92% Socialist 83% Green 83% Communism 58% Fascism 42% Democrat 42% Nazi 8% Republican 0% What Political Party Do Your Beliefs Put You In? created with QuizFarm.com

for comparison...

I think my genes are starting to come out.