yep i'm thankful

Baby Awesome has an ear infection. We could discuss my myriad hypotheses as to why this unfortunate turn occurred, but suffice to say, I detest the flu shot and solely blame it for ruining my Thanksgiving holiday for the past 3 years.

Last night's sleep was elusive and a general feeling of dread creep behind my back with every turn in bed. Just a general sense of being watched or preyed upon in my bed. Do you ever get that feeling? Some impending doom crouching in the corner of the room? (No, shan, my house is not haunted, just my mind.)

On Thanksgiving -- I've got much to be thankful for these days. Namely, Baby Awesome, of course. Also namely, my new job wherein I am mostly anonymous. Such perfect timing to be converted to a corporate drone. Churn out the product, navigate the red tape, go home. The most unlikeliest of gifts, but I do sing its praises.

However, the one downside is my near total uselessness to the greater good of humanity for 9 hours every day. This is a rather depressing thought, and one that I'm unwilling to dwell too much upon. What I will say is, whereas I felt I was in tune with God's plan for me during my work hours at my old job, for the most part, my off hours felt rather lost. Now I've come to see that feeling flip-flop. Such is the nature of my life, and always has been: just as I master one aspect of it, some other aspect goes neglected or grows out of control, etc. the difference is, this time, i'm quite content with it.

in fact, content is a word i never thought would apply to me, but here it is. has the fire of my discontent been put out? do i care? nah. i don't. there are better motivations in life, and i think i've found one -- the kind of motivation that gives light and energy, not the blackhole of sublimation.

Baby Awesome has a myspace. check him out www.myspace.com/r_awesome . he's got more friends than i do. something i can only hope will continue.