i-z-u vacationing on the shichito islands

in a meeting this morning, i'm sitting at the head of a large conference table, no one is listening to each other, even tony robbins himself couldn't decode the management-speak flying about, and the thought quietly and calmly arrives in my head, "what if i just pee'd my pants right now? how would you like that?"

i can't decide if that's a passive-agressive thing, or just my competitiveness to rise to the top of the chaotic/neurotic/semi-catatonic heap. either way, these are the thoughts that tide me over in meetings. so if you ever find yourself on the other side of a board room table from me, take solace or discomfort in the fact that i'm probably wondering if you're wearing a diaper under that suit, you sicko.