the drift


Thursday, September 16, 2004

the nostradamus of relationships

mr. whiteboots, you were a luftmensch. where are you now?
-----Original Message-----

as near as i can remember of mr. whiteboots' words to me (plus my thoughts):

{the approach}
{the lean-in}
MW: Is that girl next to you your sister? [He wants to hit on Sarah.]
8: No.
MW: Does she have a boyfriend? [He definitely wants to hit on Sarah.]
8: Not that I know of. Hey, I want to give you something. {reaches in pocket and gives MW an Ennui pin}
MW: {looks at pin, pockets it} Thanks.
{caresses 8's cheek} Have you looked in a mirror? [What the hell?]
8: Every day -
MW: You look like James Dean.
8: Thanks.
MW: You look like that guy from 'The Time Machine'... those high cheekbones, strong nose, and gorgeous smile. [Oh shit, he's hitting onme.]
What's his name?
MW's Girlfriend: Guy Pearce.
MW: That's the one.
8: Thanks, thanks.
MW: But you're just standing there, holding up the wall, next to that beautiful fucking girl and not doing a fucking thing.{backs away. imitation of slouching do-nothing. goofy voice.}I'm not sexy. I'm bald, got glasses.
[Whoa, this is not what I expected.]
{leans in again}
But you are fuckin' sexy, man. And it's so obvious you want her. And she wants you. You may not think so. You may not think you do it for her, but she digs you. Fuck man, she's beautiful and if you had the fucking...the fucking balls-you'd do something about it.
[He's got a point, however wacky.]
I got some kinda gift for this, man. I'm like the Nostradamus of Relationships. {MW's girlfriend takes a looooooooong drink from MW's beer. MW looks at 8, looks at girlfriend. To 8, laughing:}
{extends hand to shake}
8: {takes MW's hand and leans in this time} I know, man. She's hot as hell. There's just some hesitation.
[Do I really want to talk to this guy about this?]
MW: Fuck that. You're a sexy mother fucker, man. And you're cool as hell. Look where you are. I'm serious. And she's beautiful and you both look good. If she doesn't want you, then fuck her - fuck her in the earhole. But I'm not wrong.
8: Well...{smiles} thanks.
MW: {breaks handshake. starts to leave} You're fucking sexy, man...and I'm not even gay. Enjoy the show.
{extends hand again}
8: {takes hand} You too.
MW's Girlfriend: {waves} Good night.
{exit MW and girlfriend}
[What the fuck was that all about?]


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