Did I ever tell you about the time ...

I read David Sedaris' Santaland Diaries (or was it Barrel Fever?) and then went out and got myself a job as an elf for a 'celebrity Santa' at the first indoor mall in America, Southdale in Edina, MN?

Well, I did. And if you should ever want to hear of my own adventures in Santaland, buy me a couple of hot toddies and we'll sit a spell and I'll delight you. Or do my damnest, anyway.

Merry Christmas, little dovies.

Obnoxious Word of the Day: Schadenfreude

This word is a favorite among bloggers. It also is almost never used in actual conversation. I'm fairly sure it's because the kind of person who uses this word holds a deep abiding fear of pronouncing it incorrectly in the presence of someone who they suspect might be smarter than he/she/it. It's almost never used correctly, either.
"Dictionaries define "schadenfreude," however, as a pleasurable emotion resulting from the misfortune of others, with no implication that this emotion is publicly expressed or actively sought."
I'm also convinced that they only reason bloggers know this word at all is directly attributable to Avenue Q.

dees nutz

sometimes it's so clear that i'm a 15 year old boy (c. 1993). every time Roman asks for nuts, I reply, "Dese nuts?"
and snicker.

hehe.

the days are slow around here.

Ro's photography is coming along

He took this by the Christmas tree last night. This is probably my favorite photo of me in the last 3 years.

symbology of patriotism

the american flag is rarely invoked in an interesting way on film. this is the second time in my memory.
1. the protagonist of American Movie talking about cleaning diarrhea splashed public restroom stalls while folding the flag at the cemetery where he was caretaker. 2. this. and this is far more moving.

http://nymag.com/daily/entertainment/2008/12/filmmaker_barry_jenkins_explor.html

Just overheard

Cousin Jake (age 4) spent the night last night so we can go see the trains at Union Station.

Jake: Will you be my best friend, please?

Ro: RRAAAARRRR!

(misc childhood din)

Jake: Will you be my best friend please?

Ro: Ok, Jakey, I be best fwend.

Jakey Bio: He lives in the country outside of Leavenworth, but he loves the city. Favorite past times include: trains, singing God Bless America, being shoeless, and telling on Roman for hitting, yelling, talking, playing and trying to give hugs. He is Roman's best friend.

Vaginal Hygienist

When I read this post by MHIBTY I had to concur with her musings on going in for a vag inspection. I often get reflective around this time as well.
She states that it would be nice to know, if our vags are being compared (um, which they SO are as I have a friend of a friend who is a gyno and apparently this gyno has some HORROR stories), then it would be nice to get a word of encouragement.
For example, i went to get my teeth cleaned and checked this Monday. The hygienist remarked, "Good looking teeth in there!" I felt a tinge of pride and paid a silent thank you to my mom who dutifully signed me and my brothers up for our cleanings every 6 mos. Also two years of braces -- with rubber bands, bitches! (I know what pain is.)
I would say it's just as appropriate to comment something to the effect, "Nice grooming. If everyone groomed like you, my job would be a lot easier!" I have an equal or even greater amount of pride in the navigability of my business down there as I do to the health of my teeth.
So why not a pat on the back, heh?

Off

Official Google Blog: Pirates vs. Ninjas: Who would win?
Let everyone know which side you've chosen in this war-to-end-all-wars:

http://jasonpreu.wordpress.com/2008/04/21/new-from-eyewash-press/

http://jasonpreu.wordpress.com/2008/04/24/new-from-eyewash-press-2/”

Bebe ate poop yesterday

I'd like to call that a milestone in my parenting. I was changing Ro and took my eye off her and the dirty diaper for a second, then heard, "Glurrrrrp!"

Yeah.
Gross.