ray of hope

today was a turning point. Ro, Bebe, and I went to Target and the park today. Ro sang along to At War With the Mystics and loved all the hot jams on that record. We got stuff bought at the store, and Ro played outdoors and we even took at little hike in the wet grass. He scored a ball left behind at the entirely empty playground. Bebe got hungry so I fed her on the playground and wouldn't you know as soon as I get my boob out, the Johnny On the Spot truck pulls into our secluded little enclave of funtime. Ah well, modesty's been out the window for awhile. I got Ro back into the car with little drama and he was out asleep even amid Bebe's wailing.
Today, I felt that maybe this whole cockamamie idea of staying home just might work out after all.
In other news, yesterday was my last official day working for the corporation. I went in to pack the rest of my stuff, say goodbye, pick up Ro's blanket from the daycare that we forgot there, and turn in my 'device'. Yeah, that's actually what they call it. It was weird and I felt like I couldn't really pry my hands off the 'device'. It was too final. I've had between one and three jobs continuously since I was 14 years old. This is fucked up feeling. I'm a leech on society or something.
On the bright side, a co-worker who shared the same due date with me is also deciding to stay home and she's invited me to her mom's group. Apparently, most of her friends are stay at home moms. Which is good, because this shit is all new to me. I had no stay at home mom mentoring. I seriously didn't know any in my family or close-knit circle. All the ones I knew had kids who I really didn't have much in common with (like a lack of independence or personal accountability. Uh, what? That's my deepest darkest fears talking there is all. Don't take offense, you non-latchkey ilk. )