guilty mom syndrome
set in last night and I cried before bed. Friday was Ro's last day at his school and he had to say good-bye to all his little homies. Of course, to him, it was pretty much like any other day getting picked up from school. I think he knew something was up though because he gave me lots of hugs when he got home. Anyway, in opposition to the more common scenario of a young mom crying as she leaves her child at school, I was crying because he won't be going anymore. I'm thinking about all the ways he's grown in the last 7 months. All the things he's learned. All his little friends and all the teachers he charmed... Will he manage to stay as engaged in the world even as he stays home all day with me and his infant sis? I just feel like I'm robbing him of his identity somehow. Of all the learning opportunities and interpersonal development he's had there.
It's breaking my heart. This morning, his first day home, he was cool for the first couple of hours, but then, without Dad there and no other distractions, he was like a caged animal. I really can't do much with him with an infant on my teet half the time. how am i going to do this.