ninja vaginata

I was directed here this week much to my delight. What more fearful lore could there be for the misogynist but the legend of vagina dentata. Love to see what they do with this. Um, literally. That could be some freaky stuff. Images that burn into your retina for far too long after viewing the piece (for more something similar but slightly more disturbina as it's true, see Zoo).

In return for this happy link, my jaybird sends me word of this piece of modern medieval torture device. Let me get to the heart of the matter with a quote, "If an attacker were to attempt vaginal rape, their penis would enter the latex sheath and be snagged by the barbs, causing the attacker pain during withdrawal and (ideally) giving the victim time to escape. The condom would remain attached to the attacker's body when he withdrew and could only be removed surgically." "Ehler mentioned that she was inspired to create the RapeX when a patient who had been raped stated, 'If only I had teeth down there.'" Mercy.

Thus commences the following email convo between jpp, slampost and myself, recreated here for your reading pleasures. Note: If you write that screenplay yourself, you owe us a writing credit, sucka.

Me: YES. Make these available! Esp in places in Africa and South Asia where young girls can’t even walk home from school without fear of being attacked. And for abused wives around the world, what better way to even the score for getting the s beat out of you day in and out. I’d call this more effective than the Burning Bed. I totally support this.

SP: That's an awesome idea! It kind of makes me feel sick to my stomach.Me: I guess you might get the errant crazy woman who wears one to bobbitize her cheating boyfriend. Small price to pay for the greater good, I say.SP: I could see a woman going off the deep end and, say, picking up random victims at a club. Man, that's the making of a screenplay right dere.Me: That sounds like a creepy Asian horror flick. Write it!SP: Only if we can throw in flying ninjas and the grudge for good measure.

Me: I’m sure you could work in flying Chinese stars. JB: and a nunchuck or two.Me: I think we’ve found the accompanying film for the next installment of Grind House. Ninja Vaginata. Would double feature perfectly with ‘Machete’.