the children are tucked up in their beds fast asleep
while i plot and plan my way into storycorps when their mobile unit is in town next month. if i get a slot, i'm so torn on who to take with me. my dad? ask him about nam and maybe about being a dad to 5 kids. my mom? ask her about being married to a PTSD suffering alcoholic and working in hospice for years? jason because he is a creative force? Ro to preserve his four year old brilliance on audio forever? Or maybe I'll interview myself. That isn't self-absorbed or anything.
i've been thinking a lot of being home with the babies again as i see all of these people i know sending their kids to kindergarten. it's a mere two years before i'm packing Ro up for a real school and my uterus is weeping at the thought already. there is word of some freelance work which, with the kids doing some daycare, would be much more doable that way.
this mothering stuff is full of angsting over decisions for them. i hope they have no clue and think this is effortless for me.
b and i were zoning on the couch the other day and i was combing back her hair with my hands a bit and she looked up and me and said, Mommy, you pretty eyes. And i said, Awww, Sis, YOU have pretty eyes. And she volleyed back with, Mama, you eyes pretty so I eat dem!!! And proceeded to make nomming sounds and lean into the eye area of my face. and i couldn't help but laugh and laugh. what a complete goofball. at 2 years old. she's my dream daughter, hands down.