the drift

...

Monday, June 23, 2008

Filter set to: Off

SO, I'm what is referred to in my family of origin as a mama bear. meaning, i have a very low tolerance for people fucking with my children. So, where other mothers might quietly bite their lip when someone makes a snide comment about her parenting or her child's weight or her child's temperament, my bite turns outward, in the direction of the speaker's jugular when I'm feeling my feistiest. Or when another child baits them in order to get them in trouble. Then sits back to enjoy the tongue lashing directed at the other child. Let's just say after a weekend in close quarters with some family who don't know how to treat my children fairly, that's precisely how it went down. It was unpleasant, yeah. But I've never been someone who takes well to that "Oh, but you're FAMILY, we can say that kind of thing to each other!" I don't get that. Wouldn't you want to be MORE respectful of your family since generally speaking, you got what you got on that front. You can shit on strangers all you want -- you don't have to pass them the stuffing at Thanksgiving. So now, my in laws have seen a glimmer of what my family of origin has long known. I don't make space in my life for anyone who has such little respect that after I've voiced my hurt feelings they continue about their merry fucking business repeating the behaviors that caused those hurt feelings. That's not family. That's not family as I want my children to understand it. Allowing someone to treat you badly is not doing them any favors either. They will never be the better person they can be if you don't call them to a higher standard. If you call them to a higher standard, but they dig their feet in, that's they're prerogative, but that's for sure not love and if a family isn't love, what is it? It's nothing; that's what it is.

2 Comments:

At 2:44 PM, June 25, 2008 , Blogger Summie said...

Your kiddos are so lucky to have a mom as bad ass as you who will stand up for what's right...And also who will pwn bitches in the face for being dicks to little kids.

Who DOES that, anyway?! Like, are you so retarded that you think you have to pick on a 2 year old to level the playing field? Cuz if that's the fairest fight you can pick, just do us all a favor and go to hell and then die.

:D

 
At 3:32 PM, July 02, 2008 , Blogger Ellen said...

I knew I liked you!!! I feel the exact same way, which is why I am no longer speaking to one of my in laws. She pulled that whole disrespect me and treat me like crap thing and then said "but we're family, that's what we do". My response was that my family doesn't treat me that way and that I am not going to associate with anyone that would. Wanna know the best part? It was all over the fact that she (childless person) thinks that I am a bad mother because I put my 2 year old son down for a nap everyday! HA! Maybe a better punishment than ignoring her would be to keep him up and let her take care of him after his sleeplessness! I bet I would get one heck of an apology! :)
We can't wait to see you on the 4th!

 

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